No, not Alcoholics Anonymous. My AA stands for Animal Atrocities.
I do not know what possessed me to fill my first apartment with animal-themed decor. I couldn’t even begin to explain the logic now. But as I started moving, I realized that I had a problem. A big one. And I’m surprised my family and friends have not staged an intervention yet. Maybe they were planning on it and I beat them to the punch - and in that case, you’re welcome, guys, for saving you the trouble.
I think it began innocently with the cardboard deer head that Melody and I had in our first apartment in Auburn. Mel was always way cooler than I was and she found this faux-taxidermy contraption before the trend even started.
So when I moved to Houston and had a huge, empty apartment to decorate, I logically went to Target. Where, of course, they’re a good six months late on all of the design trends and fads. But I was desperate, poor, and had fond memories of my third (cardboard) roommate in college - so I went with it. Maybe a little to much:
What? Why? Seriously… why did I buy these? No wonder I got so many weird looks when I handed guests water in a glass with an artistic mushroom decal adhered to it. Thank god these were so cheap that the decal didn’t last too long in the dishwasher. By the time I moved out of my apartment, all that was left of the bird glass was a pair of feet - which could be a whole new trend in itself someday. Deconstructed Animal Art. I call dibs on patents.
But apart from the well-dressed lady in the Exxon parking lot in Greenway Plaza, the animal trend has died and no one is interested in having any fake foxes in their living rooms.
Unfortunately, I am still stuck with a bunch of art that:
1. I feel too guilty to donate
2. I am certainly done with trying to sell things on Offer Up
So the little landing outside my bedroom has become a catch-all for my old apartment decor. And even though I’ve scaled down on my animal assortment, I still grimaced last night as I tried to assemble a gallery wall above my old IKEA sofa. I just got tired of looking at empty walls!
So until one of you lovely people want to donate money to my new-decor-fund, I’m temporarily stuck with an abundance of animals from a trend that died just as soon as it began.
So concerned family and friends, I solemnly vow to never get caught up and consume my entire home in a single trend ever again. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
By the way, have you seen those cute “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters? I think those are soooo adorbs! And I never see them! I think I know what my replacement decor will be!
(kidding. totally kidding)