AA

by Meghan Medford in ,


No, not Alcoholics Anonymous. My AA stands for Animal Atrocities. 

I do not know what possessed me to fill my first apartment with animal-themed decor. I couldn’t even begin to explain the logic now. But as I started moving, I realized that I had a problem. A big one. And I’m surprised my family and friends have not staged an intervention yet. Maybe they were planning on it and I beat them to the punch - and in that case, you’re welcome, guys, for saving you the trouble.

I think it began innocently with the cardboard deer head that Melody and I had in our first apartment in Auburn. Mel was always way cooler than I was and she found this faux-taxidermy contraption before the trend even started.

  It was so hip. We even dressed him up for holidays

It was so hip. We even dressed him up for holidays

So when I moved to Houston and had a huge, empty apartment to decorate, I logically went to Target. Where, of course, they’re a good six months late on all of the design trends and fads. But I was desperate, poor, and had fond memories of my third (cardboard) roommate in college - so I went with it. Maybe a little to much:


What? Why? Seriously… why did I buy these? No wonder I got so many weird looks when I handed guests water in a glass with an artistic mushroom decal adhered to it. Thank god these were so cheap that the decal didn’t last too long in the dishwasher. By the time I moved out of my apartment, all that was left of the bird glass was a pair of feet - which could be a whole new trend in itself someday. Deconstructed Animal Art. I call dibs on patents. 

But apart from the well-dressed lady in the Exxon parking lot in Greenway Plaza, the animal trend has died and no one is interested in having any fake foxes in their living rooms. 

Unfortunately, I am still stuck with a bunch of art that:

1. I feel too guilty to donate

and

2. I am certainly done with trying to sell things on Offer Up

So the little landing outside my bedroom has become a catch-all for my old apartment decor. And even though I’ve scaled down on my animal assortment, I still grimaced last night as I tried to assemble a gallery wall above my old IKEA sofa. I just got tired of looking at empty walls!

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So until one of you lovely people want to donate money to my new-decor-fund, I’m temporarily stuck with an abundance of animals from a trend that died just as soon as it began. 

So concerned family and friends, I solemnly vow to never get caught up and consume my entire home in a single trend ever again. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? 

By the way, have you seen those cute “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters? I think those are soooo adorbs! And I never see them! I think I know what my replacement decor will be!

(kidding. totally kidding)