Golden Face (Hands)

by Meghan Medford in ,

I’ve graduated my unhealthy Netflix binge from Mythbusters to all nine seasons of The Office, thanks to AppleTV.  This is what happens when you have to make financial sacrifices in your early twenties, guys - I would rather buy shoes than pay for cable.

Shoes > Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Something I never thought I’d ever say.

So now I am perfectly content watching old re-runs of TV shows on Netflix while wearing my new Coach booties. That being said, I have watched a lot of The Office lately. I apparently like to have background noise at all times. I guess since I’ve lived alone for so long, it was kind of like having an extra person around…. that I could turn off. Anyway:

I had made yet another trip to IKEA in the past few weeks in search of a few needed items for my living room. Of course, I found some jaw-dropping-ly beautiful furniture pieces at other retailers that would be perfect in my home, but a girl can only live off of Ramen and Lean Cuisines for so long without garnering a lot of pity (and maybe later, diabetes). So I decided to go the cheaper route through some DIY IKEA makeovers so that I could eat normal meals for the next few months. Again, sacrifices. 

First of all, I wanted this amazing side table for my bed room:


A measly $249, right? But of course my OCD would require balance and symmetry, so I’d have to buy two and then BAM! - there goes my rent and Ramen funds. 

I liked the look of the tiered/gold/mirrored table but I obviously had to find it in my financial range. 

So I settled on moving the beautiful white marble Knoll side tables (gifted from my amazing grandparents) upstairs and use them as bed side tables instead of putting them in my living room. But now I needed a coffee table. 

And then I wanted to capitalize on this whole “bar cart” movement a la Mad Men, but I didn’t want to spend an arm and a leg and I certainly didn’t want it to cost 30x more than the cheap champagne I would occasionally place there. 

So off to IKEA again, where I found some nesting tables (originally for office use) and a utility cart - all for under two hundred buckaroos.  And after I got home and unloaded my Swedish furniture from my German car, I put on my game face and Martha Stewart-ed the crap out of them with some metallic gold spray paint. It has to be one of my finest moments:

I also threw in Mimi’s old setee that she gave me back when I was in middle school. It’s been painted a plethora of colors before, so I didn’t feel too guilty painting it again. It sits in a nice little niche in my bedroom now. 

Now my office tables are coffee tables and my utility cart is a bar cart:

However, there is no way that I actually did something crafty without making a huge mess… so of course this happened:

Free manicure? 

So as I’m basking in the glory of making cheap and trendy furniture substitutes and also admitting defeat (again) in the painting department, I walk upstairs to my living room to find The Office eternally playing (as usual) on my TV. It happened to be stuck on the episode where Michael finally airs his long-awaited movie, Threat Level Midnight… starring the villain Golden Face. I had entered the room at the exact moment that Golden Face first appeared on screen, with his maniacal laugh and a glistening, golden face that looked like a bad face-painting job from a carnie at one of those roaming fairs. I felt a little weird about the timing being so perfect - what, with my hands looking like a blind person gave me a manicure, and all - but I decided that it was better that I had gold paint on my hands rather than my face. So let’s chalk this one up to a win, guys.