Drakeries

by Meghan Medford in ,


Dear Drake Fangirls of the World,

I guess you could say that I've been busy lately. 

I'm working a lot these days: I have two jobs (one freelance/on contract) as well as this blog. This poor blog. I'm hoping to start focusing some more energy on mimi+meg, because I have some really exciting things going on upstairs in my brain that I just need to come into fruition on paper - or the internet, if you want to be technical about it. But its going to take a little time. Time that I can't seem to hunt down these last few weeks. 

You see, I've been preoccupied with fixing my orange hair (my hairdresser almost cried when he saw it), keeping my plants alive (I've upgraded to seven potted pets, so pray for me) and trying to fit in some yoga/barre classes when I can work them into my schedule (by that, I mean when I don't haphazardly hurl my alarm across the room when it yells at me to get up for 6am classes).

With my recent job change and working on some contract projects, I'm not sleeping all too well. Don't worry, I get in bed plenty early. I would say that I'm like a grandma with my early bedtimes, but Mimi actually goes to bed later than I do, so I really have no excuse. 

When I sleep, I toss and turn and fling blankets and pillows off the bed. Each night I move enough to confuse my Fitbit into thinking that I've walked the equivalent of two flights of stairs. I have crazy dreams that sometimes turn into nightmares and almost always result in my feet resting at the top and my head slopping over the foot of the bed. There's the source of my neck pain, I guess. I'm sure I either look dead, or like a hideous rag doll. I wish I could pass off being one of those girls who look "cute" or "perfect" when they sleep, but the puddle of drool I found on my pillow this morning tells me otherwise. A girl can dream.

And dream I do. I started writing some of my more brilliant ones down when I wake up in the middle of the night. It started because I thought that some of these dreams would be great business ideas or opportunities in the future. A fashion/home retail + design consultation business all-in-one? Not bad! Creating furniture out of popsicle sticks? Very bad. But nonetheless, in my sleepy stupor I would write down my delusions so at least I could get a few chuckles out of it in the morning. Or just to be safe in case I need to hop on over to a patent lawyer - the sewing machine was invented all because of a dream, ya know. But it got to the point where my list started to look a little like this:

  • Cat yoga classes

  • Win lottery to pay off mortgage

  • Drakeries

  • Buy cabin in woods for haunted house

Is it a sign that you need professional help if your dream involves opening up a yoga studio catering exclusively to cats? I think I even toyed with the idea of making it available to their owners, but decided against it because we didn't want any riff raff in this establishment. What was I thinking? Cats would make terrible yoga students. I also completely remodeled and decorated an entire dilapidated cabin in a dream one night only to turn it around for a profit and keep it open as Houston's only year-round haunted house. You can't say that I'm not entrepreneurial - my dreams prove that. 

But the morning after I wrote down the third item on my list, I had to stop and ponder. Drakeries. What is that? Did I misspell draperies? That is entirely possible. But what is so special about just the word "draperies"? I had been selecting drapery fabric for several projects during my last week at Laura U, so maybe they were just on the brain. I let it go and got ready for work as usual. But as I was on my way into the office, a song came on Spotify that triggered the whole dream.

You know how music can bring you back to a memory or enlighten you on a past experience? I'd assume it feels almost about the same as Harry Potter felt holding a magic wand for the first time. 

The song was by Drake. And the whole dream came flooding back to me. In that alternate reality, I was a Drake fangirl and was designing a room with a sole purpose of paying homage to him - not only in his most recent rap days, but also his previous Degrassi life. I even made the room up to ADA code in case he ever visited in his wheelchair (what?!). But the best part were of my own invention. Drakeries:

This is the best renderings I can create of what I envisioned in my dream. Basically, they're just a screen printed fabric of a bunch of Drake's faces and then I turned them into drapery. Somehow in my dream, the room was featured and I got a million requests for Drake fangirl curtains and I made millions of dollars and never, ever had to work another day in my life, amen. 

You might scoff at the idea, but do you know how unstable and tasteless most fangirls are? Case in point: anyone who likes Justin Beiber. They're unbalanced, unhinged, and best of all they follow the trends and purchase the sponsored items of their objects of affection with wholehearted enthusiasm. Who wouldn't want to cater to that kind of market? Apparently Dream-Meg knew this and tapped into this customer base. I mean, if these girls are willing to climb into dumpsters and face grand larceny charges to meet Drake, wouldn't you think they'd spring fifty bucks to be able to stare into his eyes or say goodnight to their favorite handicapped-teen-drama-character before they drift off to sleep? I'd sure think so. 

So thats my life in a nutshell the past few days. I work at the office, I come home and work on my sofa and then I dream about cats doing Downward Facing Dog (the irony) and the winning lottery numbers that will pay off a mortgage and get me financed to start selling Drake Drapes: Drake Endorsed Window Treatments. While I may not be sleeping lately, you can't say that I'm not still dreaming. Or working. 

Any recommendations for a good patent lawyer?